Profile

Elementary school was the coolest place on the planet, had the best playgrounds, and your friends were there. Things really changed around fifth grade; you know, a child starts “growing”. You begin to notice things about your classmates. Boys start noticing girls, and girls start noticing boys. It was the cool thing to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. In order to get one you had to fit the profile — wear the right clothes, hang with the right people, play the right sports, and of course be pretty. I thought I was pretty. Pretty in elementary was easy (before you were allowed to wear makeup).

This is where I figured out my biggest insecurity. My friends were playing during recess and I was running over to meet them, one of the girls said, “Kyndra is coming, quick run away! Don’t let her hands touch you.” That was one of the most heartbreaking moments in my life. I stopped dead in my tracks and paused for a moment. My face grew red and hot from embarrassment. My eyes got blurry; before I knew it I was bawling my brains out. I turned around and ran as fast as I could to the other side of the school. Felt like I couldn’t get away fast enough. I always knew my hands were different, but I didn’t think it was a big deal or that anyone else noticed. Picture your grandma’s hands with all the wrinkles and defined lines on the palm, those are my hands. As long as I can remember I have had dry hands. I have gone to dermatologist’s since I was 5. For some reason my hands cannot and will not retain moisture. Yes, everyone suggests putting lotion on my hands — been there done that. Over time I have learned to accept that my hands are not normal. Sometimes I am still very self-conscious of them. I will always hear things about them, but for the most part I try not to focus on my flaw. I am used to hearing about them. Someone always has a comment on them.

“Do you wash your hands a lot?”

“Do you work in construction?”

“Do you work with harsh chemicals?” Blah . . . Blah . . . Blah . . .  UG! It is so annoying!

I try to think positively, but it is not something I can change about me. It is one of my things that make me different. I am proud to be different. I might not show it or feel it all the time, but it’s in my head, and in my heart. It might not be a big deal to you, but to me it just makes or breaks some things. Of course there are things I have changed about myself (I’m not really a true blonde). They are minor things. I was created to be me. I am not trying to confuse you, but my view on things is “Love it like it is!”

My name is Kyndra and of course I have flaws, but  if you don’t like who I am, that is a shame for you. I am who I am and that is what I love being.

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” (Dahl 2011)

Advertisements
  1. Regina Farley
    September 28, 2011 at 9:19 pm

    Kyndra!! LOVE it…. basically you are not afraid to tell everyone what’s up, and I love that the profile just comes out and WHAM! it’s all about Kyndra. I loked how you started out with elementary school and how it was easy to be pretty, etc. and the single moment that made you realize what you had to accept. You had tension and suspense build up very nicely to that point. The only thing about it I would suggest is to make your stroy longer, add in some details, maybe to help the reader realize what is going on from your perspective. Adding a couple words in there wouldn’t hurt either… for example instead of saying “Turned and ran as fast as I could to the other side of the school,” say something like “I stopped dead in my tracks, and I turned and ran…” It might just help it flow because some of your sentences seem a bit choppy!!

    It seems to me that the point you are trying to get across is that you are who you are, and that even though you have flaws (like everybody else out there), you accept yourself and you want everybody else to accept you as well. Your voice shows through really well and you can tell that you have a bright personality and confidence through your writing, and I think that is a really good thing and that you should keep your writing like this, it keeps it interesting! The pictures look great, and I love the little quote on the side as well as the bottom- in my opinion I would just make the Dahl quote where the purple one is on the side.

    The questions people ask you are really good and they break up the space nicely, and adds some dialogue to your profile. i think the length is perfect, and even though it is on the shorter side it adds enough explanation and seems complete.

    Okay so what to work on: More details, maybe provide a vivid description of your hands when you were in elementary school- at first I was confused because I disn’t know why they were running away from you in the beginning. Some of the sentences are a little bit choppy, maybe adding just a few words will make it flow more smoothly. I think that some of the sentence structures can be reworked just a little bit, for example in the last sentence in the first paragraph I would say “Before you were allowed to wear makeup in elementary school, it was easy to be pretty.”

    Apologies for the novel! GREAT first draft!

  2. October 3, 2011 at 12:28 am

    kyndra-
    so sorry it took me so long. i’ve been moving all weekend and this is the first chance i’ve had to sit down and do this. i really enjoyed your profile. it was extremely relatable. i think everyone goes through a transition period where things that shouldn’t matter begin to matter anyways. it’s always one little thing. for you it was hands, for me it was height. i had a friend who “talked like a white person” even though she was black. or another who was very well endowed. these things make all of us who we are and they make us all beautiful in our own ways and people tear them down. i love the message here. (sorry for rambling on about your topic lol). i loved the quotes that were separate and the pictures on the side.
    now, suggestion (and questions):
    i don’t know if you meant for it to be a little choppy for the tone, but i feel like some of your sentences are missing words. (like “felt like i couldnt get away fast enough”)
    also, the quote in purple font… who said that? i almost feel like the quote at the end should be in a different font as well. whether or not it should be an insert like the purple quote is up to you. and i don’t know if it would be uncomfortable for you or if maybe you just don’t have pictures, but since you mentioned your hands as a large part of this profile maybe you should have a picture where you can see them (better than the peace sign picture). also, i can’t really tell where this is going to go in the rest of the blog. i know it’s not an about page, but maybe have something that hooks readers to read the rest of your blog. leave a little mystery. maybe if you still struggle with being confident in your hands sometimes. or if it is something else now. this feels 100% resolved. you’re confident now. the only weakness you mention is how people’s questions are annoying. that doesn’t really seem like a big deal though. if it is for you, maybe portray that somehow. but…. traffic is annoying. flies are annoying. siblings are annoying. but they aren’t anything that needs to be or can be resolved. does that make sense?
    sorry this is so long. i really did enjoy your profile, and i cant wait to see more of this topic. i think it is a great one in today’s world.
    kaitlin

  3. October 3, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    Great job! I think a lot of people will be able to relate to this. It really is a great message that you’re putting out there.

    The quotes you have are great; to me, they help get your message across more clearly. I like Kaitlin’s suggestion of making that last quote stand out a little more. And, in the purple quote, it would be nice to know who said that. If you want to add to your profile a bit, maybe you could give another story of how you came to accept your flaws.

  4. October 10, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    This is great! I love how you’ve framed it, too, with the quotes and with your name at the top and the photos down the side. The dialogue is fantastic because we can hear exactly what you’ve had to go through and that scene on the playground really comes to life.

    To make it stand out even more, I would cut that paragraph right after the dialogue and put “That was one of the most heartbreaking moments in my life” at the beginning of a new paragraph. Does that make sense? Giving a space there with a paragraph break will heighten the tension and make us stop the way that you stopped. Then I would break to a new paragraph again at “I always knew . . .” Once you get the hang of breaking into shorter paragraphs, you can really impact the emphasis you create. 🙂

    My only content suggestion is to add a little more about how you came to accept your hands the way they are. Was it thanks to your parents telling you that you are okay and beautiful? Was there any transformational point in your life where you decided to accept your hands and be okay with who you are? The scene on the playground is so poignant that I think we need a second poignant scene to “reverse” it; does that make sense? We get to experience the pang of that first big hurt; now let us see how you were able to overcome it. Maybe a movie you saw or a quote you read or a song you heard about loving yourself? See if you can show us how old you were and where you were and what happened when you “turned around” that first negative experience. 🙂

    I hope that helps! This is coming together really well and I’m excited to see how your site turns out when it’s done. 😀

  1. No trackbacks yet.

What are your thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: